Dear Aunt Meg, I really need some advice as I'm at my wits end. My boyfriend of six years with whom I live with met a girl a fortnight ago. I found out it was just a peck on the cheek but he phoned her and asked her out on a date. I found this out and we seperated. He was due to come back home this Saturday and last night I found out he went for a drink with a girl. He swears it was just as someone to talk to as he is feeling really mixed up. In a way I believe it was just talking that went on as surely if he's done it again he would tell me that our relationship was not going to work. He really wants us to make it work, we are giving ourselves two weeks together and then see how we feel. He said he doesn't want to hurt me anymore and that he really loves me. What do you think. Please help me as I am really worked up and depressed.--At My Wit's End
I hope that you and your boyfriend will take the time to talk things out before making any over heated decisions. He may have things on his mind pertaining to you that he doesn't know how to mention without hurting your feelings (and that is probably why he is getting into conversations with other girls). You've both put a lot of time and effort into this relationship so please don't either of you go packing your bags and running out the door. Very often, the people we love have issues that they can't put to words and talking with a complete stranger provides an opportunity to get those issues out in the open.
Women tend to let their emotions rule them but men often don't.....they are more analytical and can be very cool and aloof in situations that have us in tears. Know that he loves you. And that he does want things to work out (because, believe me, when a fellow tells you that he loves you but that he doesn't think the relationship's going anywhere.......well, that's when you really start crying). As far as I can tell, you still have his heart and his attention. You'll need to spend long moments with him finding out what is really bothering him......it may be something about you or your behavior that he's misinterpreted or he may be pressuring himself to decide on a marriage commitment to you (it could even be something else altogether .......perhaps he's in a turmoil as to what he wants to achieve in life). Say a little prayer that, hopefully, the other girls he's talked to have helped him open up his feelings and that the only reason he's feeling mixed up, is because he wants to find all women in you.