Viewpoints & Vows

Reverend Jacquelyn Freeman

I write complete wedding ceremonies for couples. Each is a unique work-of-art. My fee is $225 for personalized vows writing for delivery by another officiate of your choice. I charge an additional $100 to serve as your personal officiate.

My ceremony will showcase your relationship. I craft the phrases you would write as only you could - I gather your thoughts and assemble them into a matrimonial style with comfortable rhythm, easy to read and heartfelt. I write your wedding vows as though they flowed from your very lips and heart. I seemingly read your mind.

I walk in the footsteps of your personal spirituality.

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PROCESS

I email you several insightful questionnaires so you can comfortably disclose important aspects of your relationship. But gathering your information is just the first step.

Then I embark on an intense process where I compose the most important script of your lifetime, the words you share with your beloved at the alter - vows you speak when you promise everlasting fidelity - using your words, reflecting on your experiences, framed in your personal values.

After excruciating word selection, I email them to you for edit and approval. You will be breathless when you uncover the beauty and personal relevance found in your script.

Don't settle for inconsequential words out of a book, or somebody else's script when together we can craft a personal event that is one-of-a-kind.
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SAMPLE #2: Alice & Mark - A Late-Summer Garden Wedding

"This garden is a fitting place for todays festivities. It blooms with potential for the future when new shoots sprout and it is filled with memories past, when color and fragrance reached their peak and then, predictably, declined. Gardens are cyclical, changing and evolving like love itself. Gardens represent fruitfulness but also are a reminder that life is short. It must be savored and celebrated!

This property represents the essence of Mark and Alices chosen life - they fell in love with the "potential" this house and these gardens offered - and began tearing out and doing over, kneeling side-by-side, pursuing their shared vision with a passion.

Alices creativity is incubated here. When she is home she is inspired, by this place and by Mark. And he, by her. Somehow they made it through the renovation with their relationship not just intact, but thriving. That was the true test of endurance and accommodation that led them to where they are today: getting married, under the wisteria.

Marriage is the supreme sharing of experience, an adventure in the most intimate of relationships. Today it is the uniting of Mark and Alice who want, more than anything else, to live a life of passion, laughter, and integrity and to keep their commitment primary.

They wish to thank friends and family who are attending today. Mark and Alice, being a gregarious couple, cannot imagine festivities that do not include an interesting mix of people - the livelier and more controversial, the better. We are thrilled that we can share your wedding with you; knowing you is a privilege for everybody here. Including me.

It is through life's adventures, either planned or spontaneous that we come to know and embrace the persons we each are, complete in many ways but incomplete in others. And if, on a lucky day the moons align we may find our counterpart, he or she, who provides us the balance we need to feel whole.

If - and where - we find that ideal person depends on how much risk we are willing to take, how adventurous we are, and how open we are to new encounters.

In Mark and Alice's case, the introduction process was facilitated by Match.com, and if ever there was an incentive for the rest of us singles to subscribe to this internet service, this wedding today certainly is a testimonial.

A few years ago, Alice was my neighbor. Living along the Leelanau Wine Trail, we became well-acquainted over Chardonnay, most commonly in Alice's then-garden. And of course she threw great parties regularly, which is second-nature for her since she's a natural hostess: Alice is always smiling, being spontaneous (and often impulsive,) devising excuses to "bring people together." Her style is upbeat, her laughter is infectious and authentic, and she always uncovers humor and good in every situation.

Mark shared this story with me which is illustrative of Alice: "An Indian chief once told a young brave that there are two wolves in his soul. One is angry and mean. The other is loving and compassionate. The young brave was told that the two wolves would constantly struggle to see who wins. The young brave asked the chief which wolf would win. The chief told him, "the one you feed, my son"." Alice feeds the loving wolf.

When Mark came into her life, I observed their similarities:
You see, Alice and Mark engage people. It is a process they characterize as "comforting the disturbed - and disturbing the comfortable" and it often leads to very interesting outcomes. It opens up their world to novel adventures, and results in experiences they would not have, otherwise. It is their trademark way of journeying through life.

But during their private times, side-by-side in this garden creating beauty, or racing hand-in-hand to the sand dunes at sundown, there is a different dynamic in place.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning said "I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need."

And it is in every days most quiet need where you, Mark and Alice, provide nourishment to each other and with that, enrich each others souls. Sometimes it occurs when you are carrying home pockets heavy with beach stones to build this pond or when you are sharing Alices exquisite meals, or simply snuggle time - these are your days most quiet needs. And your life is rich with promise for more to come.

Alice says, "you should not marry someone you live with, but rather someone you cannot live without." And that brings us to where we are today.

Alice and Mark, are you presenting yourselves here to be joined in marriage? Then, lets do it.

Mark please turn toward Alice and repeat after me:

I, Mark take you Alice to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever. I promise you this from my heart come what may.

Alice please repeat after me:

I, Alice take you Mark to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to love and to cherish forever. I promise you this from my heart come what may.

Traditionally, the passage to the status of husband and wife is marked by the gifting of a ring. A ring represents many things, being circular and endless, but today, just maybe, it represents the moon.

Because, once in a while the odd thing happens,
once in a while the dream comes true.
And the whole pattern of life is altered.
Once in a while the moon turns blue.

So Mark, with that sentiment, please repeat after me:

This ring, my gift for you Alice, symbolizes my desire that you be my wife from this day forward.

And Alice, please repeat after me:
This ring, my gift for you Mark, symbolizes my desire that you be my husband from this day forward.

All of us who are here feel privileged. And I want to say, on behalf of each of us, thank you for your friendship and the fun you have brought to our lives.

Bless you Mark. May Alice continue to find in you that inner strength and high moral fiber for which her heart gives gratitude. Bless you Alice. The energy that is so natural for you, may that continue forever.

-May you always be grateful for the partnership you have found.

-May you continue to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.

-May you encounter enough challenges to keep you tender and enough creative visions to keep you vibrant.

-May your days be filled with sunshine and all your gardens bloom.

-May serendipity lead you places you have yet to imagine.

-May your days be profoundly magical and long upon this Earth.

As Mark and Alice have consented together before this company of friends and family, and have pledged their intentions to marry one another, I pronounce you husband and wife.

Let us party!"

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SAMPLE #3: A Wedding Renewal

Welcome, Sheri, Curt, Travis, and Kelsey. As a family who celebrates being together, as a family who embraces unity and revels in the pleasure, the sheer fun of one another's company in hobbies and other interests, I welcome you all here today. I feel personally blessed to be a part of this happy family occasion.

Today you have all come together to feel this connectedness to each other and to all of nature. Life has brought you many blessings, the most important being Kelsey and Travis. But the passages have not always been easy or without turmoil. Sheri entered Curt's life at a time when desperation had rendered him nearly hopeless. And Sheri, you made him deliriously happy, so happy he surfaced from the sadness he knew, and he loves you for that. Your strength and spirit have supported Curt, indeed your family, for 15 years. And after all these years, Curt is still amazed to learn there are things about you, new things, surprises, delights, that he discovers almost daily. You are his sunshine.

Together, you share many things. You love the water, the way it glistens, smells, feels, the creatures that live in it, how the sand feels, how the waves lap on the shore and sparkle in the sun. Lighthouses, beacons, those steadfast pillars that mark our shorelines and called our mariners into safe harbor, those sturdy and enduring monuments have great meaning to both of you and arouse a passion for all things nautical in you. And you, Sheri, are the pillar in Curt life. Your beacon has called Curt into a safe harbor, and that harbor is with you.

I wish your mother were here Sheri. As your best friend, she would love to share this moment with you. She would be so glad to see the surprise in your eyes and the pleasure this moment of renewal brings. Because that is what this is. All of these years that you have worked together, building your dreams, overcoming all of the challenges put before you as a couple and as a family, your role, the parts you have played to keep this act together in this great scheme have all been for the best.

And so today, here on this platform by this beautiful waterfall, while the love of your family is around you with blessings in abundance, today you and Curt are renewing your vows of love and once more making an everlasting commitment. Nothing is more sacred than that.

Are you, Sheri, ready and willing to renew your vows of love and marriage here today?

Are you, Curt, ready and willing to renew your vows of love and marriage here today?

Then please repeat after me:

I, Curt, take you Sheri, to be my lifelong partner and wife. I promise to love you forever. On this special day,
I give to you in the presence of Travis and Kelsey, my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful husband in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
honor and respect you,
provide for your needs,
protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you, secure in the knowledge that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

Sheri, will you please repeat after me:
I, Shari, take you Curt, to be my lifelong partner and wife forever. I promise to love you. On this special day,
I give to you in the presence of Travis and Kelsey, my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful wife
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
honor and respect you,
provide for your needs,
protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you, secure in the knowledge that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

The great medieval philosopher, Thomas Aquinas, when asked to define true love, said that is was 'to will the good of the other person.' If you truly love somebody, you want their success, their happiness. Everything that is best for them.

It is in this spirit that you are renewing your vows here this morning.

This reading is called Two Trees

A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine.
A gentle kind of togetherness.
- while separate we stand as two trees deeply rooted
-in separate plats of ground-
Forming a miracle of lace against the heavens.

Let us pray together:

God, who gives us the longing for love and the capability of loving, we give you thanks for Curt and Sheri, for the family they have created, their diligence, their kind hearts and willing ways.

Be with them on this joyous occasion of showing their love and remaking their vows. And be with them and their family that we may all be changed by what is said and shared here today.

The circle is a symbol of completeness, a symbol of committed love. An unbroken and never ending circle symbolizes a commitment of love that is also never ending. Whenever you look at this symbol, I hope that you will be reminded of the commitment to love each other, which you are making again here today.

Curt, please repeat after me:

I, Curt, give you Sheri, this ring, as a symbol of my ongoing commitment to love, honor, and care for you forever.

Sheri, please repeat after me:
I, Sheri, give you Curt, this ring, as a symbol of my ongoing commitment to love, honor, and care for you forever.

Sheri and Curt, you have expressed and exhibited as individuals, as partners, as parents, and as closest and dearest friends, that you wish to reaffirm a beautiful and loving union. May you continue your life's journey in the greatest love and happiness.

Outdoor Wedding

SAMPLE #1: Garden Wedding Vows for Ellen & David

"This is indeed a powerful place. When you pass onto this land your whole being picks up something utterly compelling and magnetic. This spot represents the essence of David's chosen life - he fell in love with this land and began construction of this artful home as a statement of his very being. He created a place of quiet repose and invited Ellen in to stay forever. Like David, Ellen's essence, energy and passion are here. When she is here she feels nurtured by this place and by David. And he, by her.

This garden is a special sanctuary, not just for today but always - it represents both beauty and fruitfulness. But today it is also our chapel. We in attendance are joyous that we can share this most significant of life's passages with you, Ellen and David; knowing you is a privilege for everybody here. Including me.

Marriage is the supreme sharing of experience, an adventure in the most intimate of relationships. Today it is the joyous uniting of Ellen and David who want, more than anything else, to live an life of peacefulness, authenticity, and passion together and to keep their commitment primary.

With great gratitude they wish to acknowledge and thank Paul and Katherine, and Betsy and Donald, their parents, for having gotten them to this point; Carlos for his support; and significant friends who are gathered here, whose caring and love have made all the difference. We thank Stephen for his photographic talent, to be able to capture this moment in an artful manner.

We remember grandfathers Partridge Smyth and Peter Donnelly, whose legacies will remain forever with Ellen.

It is through life's experiences, both exquisite and tragic, that we come to know and embrace the persons we are, gifted in many brilliant ways but incomplete in others. And if we are truly lucky, we will find our counterpart, he or she who provides us the balance we need to become complete.

Ellen and David, you will continue to provide one another balance through your opposites and your differing talents and gifts. The greatest gift you have, to give one another, is the gift of yourself.

Ellen, David respects and values you for who you are. He admires your ambitions, your zest for life and your pure view of the world. Because, although the world is often a turbulent and rocky place you still discover beauty, hope, joy and fun and you make every excursion into a beautiful adventure for him. It is through you that David achieves a higher level of being, both mentally and spiritually. Your passion puts a smile on his face and reassures him that there will always be more discoveries with you, along the road less traveled.

David, your quiet, strong energy captivated Ellen from the start. You care deeply about excellence. Your passion for the betterment of all living forms - your deep respect for the natural world - and the manner in which you painstakingly execute your visions into thoughtfully conceived outcomes such as all the intricate details that abound this property - demonstrate such character and quality. You truly live in harmony with nature.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning said "I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need." And it is in every day's most quiet need where you provide nourishment to each other and with that, enrich each other's lives. Your connection feels eternal.

The arts, quality food & good nutrition, a healthy lifestyle - service to the community, the sanctity and peacefulness of water, your commitment to family and friends - these are your day's most quiet needs.

Ellen and David, are you presenting yourselves here today to be joined in marriage?

David please turn toward Ellen and repeat after me:

I, David take you Ellen to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish you forever. I promise you this from my heart come what may.

Ellen please repeat after me:

I, Ellen take you David to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish , to love and to cherish you forever. I promise you this from my heart come what may.

Traditionally, the passage to the status of husband and wife is marked by the gifting of a ring. This wedding ring has a tender history. Not only is it a symbol of the unbroken circle of love, it is a valued family keepsake, lovely in its own right and irreplaceable for its significance.

David, please repeat after me:

This ring, a gift for you Ellen, symbolizes my desire that you be my wife from this day forward.

All of us who are here feel privileged. And I want to say, on behalf of all of us, thank you .. May Ellen continue to find in you, David that inner strength and high moral fiber for which her heart gives gratitude. Thank you for Ellen. The energy that is so natural for her, may that continue forever. May this couple always be grateful for the partnership they have found. Together may you continue to lead lives of gentle strength and creative passion with enough challenges to keep you tender, and enough creative visions to keep you vibrant.

Let us move to the wine table.

Today we will have a special wine ceremony. Our ceremony will feature a favorite wine, a Boskydel named Roi Des Rouges, meaning king of the reds. It has, at its roots, a French Hybrid grape, the Chanac.
An excellent relationship, be it in wine making or romance, aspires for the perfect balance and complement. As you become acquainted with a significant wine, or with a significant person, in the beginning you notice the delicacy, you smell the unique bouquet, you taste the sweetness, if there is sweetness to be discovered. Or acidity may be sensed which gives a freshness to the wine.

When the promise of the wine is achieved, you will know. Because it is through the balance of the components that seduction and greatness is revealed.

The perfect harmony occurs when you discover a wine that is flavorful, full-bodied, and eminently drinkable.

You have discovered the sensations. You know where the sweetness is found - with wine it is on the very tip of your tongue. In life, it is every moment that you find magic along the way with a life partner who understands you and validates you. Savor the moment together.

A great man said, "to get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with." So it is with wine. With this sentiment, David, please pour and share your glass with Ellen.

As David and Ellen have consented together in marriage before this company of friends and family, and have pledged their faithfulness to one another and declared their unity by the giving and receiving of a ring, and shared the symbolism of the wine ceremony I pronounce you husband and wife - may your days be profoundly magical and long upon this earth.

You may kiss!"

Wedding

Old Art Building Event - Leland, MI

Bridesmaids against pounding surf

Beautiful Sunset

Polynesian Wedding Arch, Florida

Sarasota Sunset

Sarasota shoreline at sunset

Florida

Paradise

And to Cherish
Jacquelyn Freeman, M.A. Ordained Minister

Traverse City Area: 231-271-LOVE
Cell: 231-342-8792
Toll Free: 1-877-316-3166
Email: jacquelynfreeman@gmail.com
Web: www.andtocherish.com

© 2007 And to Cherish. All Rights Reserved.